Please feel free to share this story.
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And so I am. Be warned it is incredibly sad.
XOXO,
Lavender
This is my story, I will start at the beginning so that It all comes together.
When I was little I always realized that something was different about my family growing up.
Everything seemed to fit together fine but things went through phases at times. My mother's weight would change drastically and my father would spend more time away from home. I found out years later that my father had been verbally and emotionally abusing my mother into anorexia which almost killed her when I was about 8 years old.
During their marriage he cheated on her twice, once with her friend that was renting a room from us. My mother would hear it through the floor and he would still deny it.
They divorced when I was 13. I stayed with my father only because he was in the house I grew up in. He began locking me in my room to go out with his girlfriend (the second woman he cheated with) and wouldn't feed me. I began having to hide cereal under my bed so I would have food to eat while he was gone. After a few months I went to live with my mother over the summer and realized that things were much better there. I decided to stay with her. My mother took my by my father's house one day to pick up my school schedule. Apparently he had surgery on his throat that day and was sleeping so i didn't say hello because I didn't remember. I called him a few days later to pick me up for the weekend and he said "No you stay with your mother and think about what you did, your not my child anymore"
My mother and I moved to Pennsylvania a year later, I hadn't talked to my father the whole time. Years went by and I had reached my senior year in high school when my mother met Todd. I moved to Pittsburgh to attend college but had to return home because I was diagnosed with a mental illness and could not handle the stress of college away from home. I moved back in with my mom and her new husband Todd ( they had gotten married while I was away.) When she wasn't home he would yell and scream at me and call me a psycho and tell me to get out that it was his house now (in much harsher words). He would do this all the time and then beg for me to respect him and like him.. I constantly told him that in my life respect is earned not given.
A few months after being home him and I proceeded to fight and he threw a mattress, floor fan and couch at me. So I punched him in the eye. My family was actually happy over my actions as they all saw right through him like I did. My grandma paid my fine against my mothers wishes.
A month later we got into it again. He threatened to cut the wires on the computer because my music was loud. I reminded him that my mom had bought it and would be upset if he did so as she was still paying for it. He left me alone and locked himself in the bedroom. I packed a bag and left.
At 5 am that morning my boyfriend at the time's father called us and said we needed to go to his house and talk to the cops. We were apprehensive but he assured we weren't in trouble. We arrived and a few hours later two plain clothes officers came into the living room and verified my identity. They proceeded to tell me that "there was an incident and my mother was killed" I said.... " let me guess. It was Todd" They confirmed that it was. I ran and cried. I buried planned a funeral and buried my mother at 18. He had taken a shotgun and shot her in the head and stomach while she was brushing her hair after he hit her and threw her in the bathtub. He then changed his clothes and reported to the police station with the shells, placing them on the counter and saying "I just killed my wife."
After a lengthy court battle he finally plead guilty and was sentenced to life in prison without parole.
I proceeded my life but it was ruined for many years. It was very hard to go on in life without really having any guidance. I fell deep into depression and my mental illness became worse. I was hospitalized several times because the grief and depression were so bad. This led me into a terrible relationship with a drug addict who in a few instances Choke slammed me into a wall and punched me in the face. I called the cops one time when we actually made my nose bleed and due to PA policy we both were charged.
I have since left him and have restarted my life with a wondeful man who makes me happy all the time and has never hit me or even attempted to. I can't even stay upset or mad with him for more than 2 seconds because he makes me laugh and keeps me happy.
My message to you all is that you too can break the cycle!!! Don't let things that happen to you be the factors that determine your future. I allowed that to happen to me and have since realized that I have the power to change my life and its cycle!
This is my story, I will start at the beginning so that It all comes together.
When I was little I always realized that something was different about my family growing up.
Everything seemed to fit together fine but things went through phases at times. My mother's weight would change drastically and my father would spend more time away from home. I found out years later that my father had been verbally and emotionally abusing my mother into anorexia which almost killed her when I was about 8 years old.
During their marriage he cheated on her twice, once with her friend that was renting a room from us. My mother would hear it through the floor and he would still deny it.
They divorced when I was 13. I stayed with my father only because he was in the house I grew up in. He began locking me in my room to go out with his girlfriend (the second woman he cheated with) and wouldn't feed me. I began having to hide cereal under my bed so I would have food to eat while he was gone. After a few months I went to live with my mother over the summer and realized that things were much better there. I decided to stay with her. My mother took my by my father's house one day to pick up my school schedule. Apparently he had surgery on his throat that day and was sleeping so i didn't say hello because I didn't remember. I called him a few days later to pick me up for the weekend and he said "No you stay with your mother and think about what you did, your not my child anymore"
My mother and I moved to Pennsylvania a year later, I hadn't talked to my father the whole time. Years went by and I had reached my senior year in high school when my mother met Todd. I moved to Pittsburgh to attend college but had to return home because I was diagnosed with a mental illness and could not handle the stress of college away from home. I moved back in with my mom and her new husband Todd ( they had gotten married while I was away.) When she wasn't home he would yell and scream at me and call me a psycho and tell me to get out that it was his house now (in much harsher words). He would do this all the time and then beg for me to respect him and like him.. I constantly told him that in my life respect is earned not given.
A few months after being home him and I proceeded to fight and he threw a mattress, floor fan and couch at me. So I punched him in the eye. My family was actually happy over my actions as they all saw right through him like I did. My grandma paid my fine against my mothers wishes.
A month later we got into it again. He threatened to cut the wires on the computer because my music was loud. I reminded him that my mom had bought it and would be upset if he did so as she was still paying for it. He left me alone and locked himself in the bedroom. I packed a bag and left.
At 5 am that morning my boyfriend at the time's father called us and said we needed to go to his house and talk to the cops. We were apprehensive but he assured we weren't in trouble. We arrived and a few hours later two plain clothes officers came into the living room and verified my identity. They proceeded to tell me that "there was an incident and my mother was killed" I said.... " let me guess. It was Todd" They confirmed that it was. I ran and cried. I buried planned a funeral and buried my mother at 18. He had taken a shotgun and shot her in the head and stomach while she was brushing her hair after he hit her and threw her in the bathtub. He then changed his clothes and reported to the police station with the shells, placing them on the counter and saying "I just killed my wife."
After a lengthy court battle he finally plead guilty and was sentenced to life in prison without parole.
I proceeded my life but it was ruined for many years. It was very hard to go on in life without really having any guidance. I fell deep into depression and my mental illness became worse. I was hospitalized several times because the grief and depression were so bad. This led me into a terrible relationship with a drug addict who in a few instances Choke slammed me into a wall and punched me in the face. I called the cops one time when we actually made my nose bleed and due to PA policy we both were charged.
I have since left him and have restarted my life with a wondeful man who makes me happy all the time and has never hit me or even attempted to. I can't even stay upset or mad with him for more than 2 seconds because he makes me laugh and keeps me happy.
My message to you all is that you too can break the cycle!!! Don't let things that happen to you be the factors that determine your future. I allowed that to happen to me and have since realized that I have the power to change my life and its cycle!
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