I'm going to start off by introducing myself. I am a 30 yr old woman who has lived through various forms of abuse, and it is through my own personal experience and the experience of others I've loved over the years that domestic violence became one of my passions. I had my first taste of domestic violence at the tender age of 6 years old and will never forget that first fight between my parents. I don't even remember most of it or what it was about. What I do remember, however, is my dad pushing my mother to the floor of the entryway to our living room and then him on top of her hitting her while she screamed. I also remember my dad smashing the chocolate candy Halloween houses my mom had made for my twin sister and my kindergarten classes. I ran into my room at some point (I don't remember whether or not I was told to go there), and my dad came in soon after to tell us it was all my mom's fault. She had caused the fight and had caused the candy houses to be smashed. I knew she didn't cause any of it, but I was not about to tell my dad that. Then my dad left to go somewhere, my mom came in, and soon after the police. I wanted to tell the police what had happened and let them take us away, but my mom lied to them, said we were all okay, and let them leave. I was too scared to say anything so they left. To this day I wish I had said something because that is the day I learned to fear my dad and all other men. And that night was also the beginning of a terrifying nightmare I had no idea would turn into the downward spiral into a pit of utter blackness I would not soon escape.
Some people say children of domestic violence aren't affected. I can honestly say from my own experience that children, whether or not they are abused, suffer the most. There is no description for the fear and helplessness a child feels when one parent is physically or sexually abusing the other. A child in a violent home will grow up feeling helpless, afraid, angry, and depressed. A trust issue also develops along with seeking any way out possible. It was through this seeking any way out possible that I ended up in an abusive relationship with my ex-fiance. I thought he was Prince Charming and depended on him to "rescue" me and, instead, he became my own monster. I then realized exactly why so many women don't "just leave." It's not as easy or as simple as people who have never been in an abusive relationship think especially when there is little to no protection from the very people who are supposed to "serve and protect" -- police officers. Stalking, as I've learned, is apparently only a law in writing to make people feel better not an actual enforceable one - that is until the stalker physically harms his or her victim, in which case, many times it's too late.
Leaving an abusive relationship takes an incredible amount of strength, courage, and support -- the exact resources abusers take away from victims first.
The goals of this blog are to reach and offer that support and encouragement to current and past victims and survivors and their families and to educate people about this terrible crisis and epidemic. I will be sharing stories, experiences, and information regarding this issue as well as some pieces of creative writing. I will share my own story as well, and I will be more than happy to share others' stories, with their permission of course. If you would like your story heard feel free too email me, and I will change your name to protect you just as I am using a different name. Thank you all. I look forward to writing and sharing with you.
XOXOXO
Lavender
No comments:
Post a Comment